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How to Help

Dads have an influence and can make a difference

A dad has a very important role in helping his partner have a healthy pregnancy. In fact, research shows that the father can make a big difference in the mother’s decision to drink or not drink when pregnant.

Most women in Canada (almost 9 in 10) do quit drinking when they find out they are pregnant. This helps the baby’s healthy growth and development. A dad can support his partner’s decision to quit.

There is a lot of confusing information about pregnancy and alcohol. Some people still think it is okay to drink when pregnant. The Saskatchewan Prevention Institute works hard to provide reliable and evidence based information.

Fathers play an important role in the prevention of FASD and raising healthy children.

Your drinking influences her drinking

Drinking Influences

Research shows that partners have similar drinking patterns. The exception is during pregnancy, when most women choose to stop drinking. Women find it more difficult to reduce or stop their drinking when their partner disagrees with the decision.

Most men don’t want to think about reducing their drinking. In fact, many dads-in-waiting are pleased that they will have a designated driver for evenings out that include alcohol.

Several studies show that if the father reduces or stops drinking, his partner is more likely to do the same. If he has drug and alcohol-related problems, she is almost 4 times more likely to drink alcohol. Research also shows 77% of women who drink during pregnancy, drink with their partners. Up to 75% of children born with a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) have biological fathers who are heavy drinkers. Men do have an influence.

Learn about pregnancy and alcohol

Alcohol is a substance that can cause birth defects. A fetus exposed to alcohol can develop a lifelong disability. Social, behavioural, physical, attention, and learning difficulties may not be noticed until the child is in school.

When a pregnant woman drinks, the alcohol passes through the placenta into the fetus’s bloodstream. The fetus has the same blood alcohol content (BAC) as the mother. The fetus’s liver is not fully formed or functioning and processes alcohol more slowly than the mother. The alcohol stays in the unborn baby’s body longer and has more time to affect the normal development of the growing cells.

Alcohol can affect baby

Alcohol can change the structure of developing cells and interfere with how the cells work together and how they do their job. Alcohol is especially harmful to the cells in the brain and central nervous system. The brain develops all through pregnancy and controls basic functions such as breathing, sleeping, and heart rate to higher level functions such as thinking and reasoning.

There is no known safe amount of alcohol while pregnant. Each day without alcohol during pregnancy is healthier for the baby.

The best time for a mom-to-be to stop drinking

Best time to stop drinking
The best time to stop drinking alcohol is when she is trying to get pregnant. Then, there is no chance that alcohol can harm the future baby.

The good news is that most women stop drinking when they learn they are pregnant. Unfortunately, it may take several weeks to confirm a pregnancy. If a woman is drinking during this time, her fetus is exposed to alcohol.

Parents may worry about how alcohol has affected their unborn baby. Alcohol can affect the part of the baby’s brain and body that is developing at the time the pregnant woman is drinking. Each day without alcohol is healthier for the baby.

Good nutrition, reduced stress, caring relationships, regular medical care, and avoiding substances, like alcohol, add up to healthier babies and families.

50% of pregnancies are unplanned

In Canadian society, most men and women drink alcohol. Since half of pregnancies are not planned, many developing babies may be accidentally exposed to alcohol.

If a woman has sex with no birth control or ineffective birth control, she may become pregnant. It is best for her not to drink alcohol until she gets her period. If a pregnancy is confirmed, avoiding alcohol is safest for fetal development.

Planning a pregnancy, while not always a reality, is best for the parents and the baby.

Can a father who drinks cause FASD?

The quick answer is no. Alcohol causes harm when it passes through the mother’s bloodstream to the developing fetus.

A father who drinks cannot cause an FASD; however, it does not mean he is off the hook. The dad can strongly affect the mom’s alcohol use before and during pregnancy. Fathers contribute to, or protect against, a mother’s drinking.

A father’s alcohol use may affect the quality of his sperm. For example, it can affect the sperm’s movement (motility). Some animal studies have shown that a male’s chronic drinking can affect his fertility, his DNA, and the DNA of his future child(ren). Research with human subjects has shown that children of fathers who drink may have challenges with:

  • birth weight
  • heart health
  • learning and memory
  • hyperactivity
  • ability to deal with stress
Alcohol can also harm a man’s immune system, increase blood pressure and weight, harm his kidneys, and cause many types of cancers. Canada’s Low Risk Drinking Guidelines provide information about reducing health risks when drinking.

How to help

Look at yourself

A man has a role in supporting his partner to have an alcohol-free pregnancy. Here are some things to think about.

  • What kind of a partner do you want to be?
  • How do you support her?
  • Is your relationship healthy? (mutual respect, equality, trust, communication, and freedom)
  • Does she feel safe talking to you?
  • What kind of a father do you want to be?
  • Are you ready to be a dad?
  • How will you talk to her about pregnancy and alcohol without making her feel bad?
  • Think about how you deal with conflict. Women who live with violence and abuse are more likely to drink to deal with it. Living in a stable home, and being in a safe, nurturing relationship protect against a pregnant woman drinking. The father has an important role in the home life and his alcohol use and behaviour contribute to the stability of the home.
Business Man on Mirror

Talk to your partner

It can be difficult to talk about pregnancy and alcohol. You can help by being compassionate, non-judgemental, and supportive. If a pregnant woman is drinking and feels judged, she may hide her drinking. That is not healthy for her or the baby.

Most women quit drinking during pregnancy. For some it is easy; for others, it’s not that simple. If your partner needs help to quit, explore options together.

A supportive person provides help in a positive way such as:

  • remembering her strengths, abilities, and efforts
  • telling her what she is doing well and acknowledging her efforts
  • not telling her what to do
  • listening
Start a conversation

Here are some ways to start a conversation:

  • “What could make it easier to stop drinking or reduce drinking?”
  • “How can I help?”

As a father, you are a partner. Women, who participated in a focus group defining an ideal partner, highlighted a sense of “togetherness” during the pregnancy.

Give up drinking for 9 days or 2 weeks or more

If you stop drinking for a period of time, it can help you understand what it is like for her to quit. It could make it easier to support her. Perhaps you can join her for the whole 9 months.

Make sure there are non-alcoholic drinks available

Try some of these!

Cookie Cutter
Mini Mary Moctail
Sunny Lemonade
Living is Easy Moctail
Find out more at: Mocktails for Mom Booklet

Choose activities that don’t involve drinking

There are many things to do that don’t involve drinking.

  • Hosting a non-alcoholic games night
  • Going for a walk
  • Being a volunteer
  • Watching TV
  • Attending a cooking class together
  • Going to a movie
  • Having a potluck supper with friends
  • Giving her a massage

Order ‘This is Why’ posters and information cards

This Is Why I Supported Her Not to Drink
This Is Why I Supported Her Not to Drink

Links to other resources about how to support your partner.

Supporting Your Partner on the Journey to an Alcohol Free Pregnancy
What men can do?
FASD: Alcohol Pregnancy Partner Support


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